C E Hoffman

May I Live On In Love and Literature

Tag: Youtube

My Brain in 30 Secs {Stuff About Mood Swings}

Happy happy sunstroke 

high on sunlight brain explodes 

Happy happy drunk poet 

I’ll be famous when you’re all dead!!!!!!

(flashes, 

my sweet head.) 

-Liquid Moments Pt. 1 from Blood, Booze and Other Things in Nature (Buy it now!)

So, I have mood swings. 

Mood cycles, more accurately, which I experience as altered states. There are extreme highs and bitter lows, changes in energy level, cognitive function, lucidity and irritability, which, though often helpful to my creativity, are also detrimental to my enjoyment of and participation with life.

I crave consistency. Steady income, permanent address, a relationship I know will last. Perhaps I strive for such an even keel because I lack one internally. I am learning to ride my waves, but that doesn’t make them less exhausting. 

I’ve had mental health struggles for most of my life. As early as six I was plagued with extreme anxiety and bouts of insomnia. At thirteen I was compulsively self-harming, struggling with an eating disorder, and tried to end my life, resulting in psychiatric hospitalization.

Currently, the closest I have to a diagnosis is an assessment of probable Bipolar-2 with C-PTSD and BPD tendencies. (Quite a mouthful of alphabet soup.) It would take years working with a psychiatrist to be properly diagnosed. For now, I have to cope. 

Art is my antidote.

Jonathan Larson once said something like, 

“It’s not that I don’t share my emotions. I just tell them through songs.” 

My internal world often feels too intense to share with a family member, partner, or friend one-on-one.

Within Art, I feel safe to be myself.

Everywhere else, I turn my volume low.

Nobody wants a roller coaster in their living room. 

I did my best to compress my moods in a 30-second reel. You could almost call it a book trailer for Blood, Booze, and Other Things in Nature, which explores highs, lows, sexual misadventures, drunken escapades, and above all, my determination to act better than what I feel.

Doctors used to tell me, “Make it to twenty-one, and you’ll be okay.” 

I’m almost thirty.

It hasn’t gone away. 

And I’m done hoping that it will.

I will not let it stop me from doing all I’m meant to do. I truly believe our curses can become superpowers, and if you’re struggling too, please know that I believe in you.

There’s a reason we’re still here. 

Maybe I can’t get off this roller coaster. Maybe the peaks and valleys will never level out. Whether they do or not, I am already coping so much better than I ever thought I could. And, if you think about it, I bet you are too. 

Stay Creative. 

It’ll safe your life. 

C

PS Buy Blood, Booze, and Other Things in Nature here.

Chapbook Release: Blood, Booze, and Other Things in Nature

What’s it like being the only guy in your pre-natal yoga class?

What do you do when your wedding toast becomes spoken word?

Which alcohol mixes best with C-PTSD?

Now, you can find out.

Buy from Amazon here.

(Available from Lulu soon!)

And, in case you missed it, check out the cover reveal:

Stay Creative!

C💕

Cover Reveal: Blood, Booze, and Other Things in Nature

It’s here!

Been waiting to find out what the new cover looks like?

Wait no longer!

Watch below.

And remember to Subscribe!

Keep an eye out for Blood, Booze, and Other Things in Nature May 15!

Stay Creative!

C💕

Podcast: Salt Lake Dirt #2

Had an AMAZING time sitting down with Kyler Bingham again, and we were thrilled to have Winston Rowntree join us. Winston and I discussed our collaborative process in creating GTFO, and all the love and gratitude that goes into art.

“Make what you need. Maybe someone else will need it too.”-Winston

Listen to the full podcast here or below, and Subscribe to Salt Lake Dirt on Twitter!

Stay Creative!

Short Film: GTFO by C. E. Hoffman and Winston Rowntree

It’s here!!!

Winston Rowntree, the brilliant creator behind the Subnormality webcomic and the People Watching animated series, teamed up with me and other amazing creatives to adapt one of Sluts and Whores’ short stories into an animated short film!

Watch now, and spread the word!

Film credits:

Writer/Producer/Director- C E Hoffman

Animator/Illustrator/Video Editor- Winston Rowntree

Sound Editor- TC Folkpunk

Danton Lamar as The Narrator

Rachanee Lumayno as Lolita

C E Hoffman as Eden

featuring music by Borscht.

This project was backed by Kickstarter. Thanks to everyone for your support!

Stay Creative!

C💕

Podcast: The Nuts and Bolts of Writing

Had an amazing chat with Tete and Fortunus Games on this latest podcast episode.

Have a listen, and remember to Subscribe to their channel!

Buy Sluts and Whores here.

💕 C

Podcast: Salt Lake Dirt

Loved this one!

Kyler and I got intuitive in our colloquy- my favourite direction for a podcast!

Remember to Subscribe to their channel!

Buy Sluts and Whores here.

C💕

Kickstarter Update Week 3!

It’s the 3rd week of our Kickstarter and amazing things are happening!

Watch the update above.

Donate here.

Stay Creative!

💕C

My First Print Review

It’s the second week of our Kickstarter campaign, and we’ve almost reached the goal!

To celebrate, I’ve released a reading of a fantastic Sluts and Whores review by Justin Bookworm at Razorcake magazine.

All a writer can ever hope for is to be understood.

This review gave me that. 💕

Donate here. And remember to Subscribe to Razorcake!

Stay Creative!

C💕

BIG NEWS!

Almost 6 months since the publication of Sluts and Whores, I have the chance to turn one of its stories into a short animated film!!!

We have launched a fundraiser to collect what we need to make this dream a reality.

You’ll get swag for donations as little as a dollar!

Donate here.

Stay Creative!

C💕