New Catalysts single: Blue Eyes (cover)

“I tried to call you… you must have left by then.”

-Blue Eyes by The Wedding Present

Valentine’s Day. No better time to release this single- especially when you’re, well, single.

This song has many, many layers for me, and association with several partners.

I discovered the Wedding Present via a blue-eyed punk who I have come to identify as a predator and abusive partner. Regardless, I appreciate the musical education he bestowed upon me, including knowledge of this song.

Later, I loved a hazel-eyed guy who would become my baby daddy and best (platonic) friend. We had a tumultuous relationship (to say the least), and though he didn’t treat me right, he has proven himself to be one of the kindest, truest, most loyal souls I’ve ever known, in this life or any other. When Alex and I first planned the Catalysts’ second album, the LP was intended as a pseudo-love letter to Mr. Hazel Eyes. (I composed the outro to Blue Eyes thinking of him.)

Time passes! Our relationship evolved, and so did the LP. Mr. Hazel and I became friends more than lovers, then friends only, and by the time Alex and I were recording the album, I had a new paramour: another blue-eyed babe with a checkered past and tarnished heart. Another toxic relationship. Another (sadly) abusive partner. Another lover to whom I dedicate this song.

These three men shaped me, encouraged me, hurt me, helped me. They are the three serious relationships of my adulthood. I’ve received gifts, inspiration, and trauma from each, and while I am liable to think of any one of them when singing or listening to this song, Blue Eyes has become a ballad for all my lovers, star-crossed or cut off, the ones I was unkind to, the ones who were unkind to me. I carry all of them in my heart as I write my words and sing my songs (or, in this case, sing a cover.)

As I contemplate love and loss on another solo Valentine’s, I wish them all well. And I wish them all music.

I wish you music, too!

And love.

So much love.

PS Fund the Catalysts’ second CD here.

PPS I launched a new website this year! Find it (and all my publishing updates) here.

PPPS! Though my inspirations for this song (and most of my relationships) are male, I chose a female subject for the lyric video in deference to my bisexuality, which has indeed typically manifested in admiring women from afar, too shy to actually make something happen.